There are more distractions to find new friends in NYC then there are in San Francisco.
High school friends, college friends, camp friends, insert other jewish youth group from childhood friends et al. Notwithstanding family, there are quite a few cliques already in existence a northeastern heeb like myself can pick when moving to New York City. Yes, there is shared history with all of these folks — an Israel trip, a ScoreKeeper’s bar and grill run, etc.
This is fine and don’t get me wrong, I love (and need) a support system BUT (and it’s a first world problem “but”) I thrive off of everything new. I am in my groove when things are new — new people, experiences, even a new type of burger. “New” takes me outside my comfort zone — the natural habitat for all things growth.
So while moving to NYC, a city I’ve never lived before is inherently new, is inherently “new” — many of the people are not. A chicken and a (bagel) egg & cheese all in one confusing new social puzzle. The puzzle can be cracked — but it will take some work, outside the box thinking, and the most difficult, strategic “nah I’m cool” when invited for the Friday night pregame in Murray Hill.
I’m starting to realize the key social elements with your “Crew” in a city are not the predetermined overpriced Taqueria happy hour on a Tuesday not the Saturday pregame into an output show. It’s the gym runs before work, the 3–4pm “No-man’s land” in between brunch and the night out.
It’s time to find the “new” and to be patient in the process.
Otherwise, well…there is no other choice.