The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our young professional lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.
Alright, alright, alright! This post is about FRANNNNDS! We all love our FRANNNDS. Whether it’s a bad date or an overly expensive bar cover (I forgot cash), our friends will be there to support us through it all. While relationships bring uncertainty, friendships bring stability. There is no guessing game with your squad (except for your one buddy’s questionable choice to play Drake at every single pregame). They’re here and a part of your burgeoning young professional network, or as I like to call it your empire.
Now, I’ve been very, incredibly, wonderfully blessed during my first couple years in the Bay Area to find amazing friends. On the other side of the spectrum, I’ve heard a few #firstworldproblems of some of my peers in other cities stressing how annoying it is to find someone: “I do not want to go on Bumble BFF…ever again.”
So how can you avoid Bumble BFF? Here is what I recommend to start building that circle of trust, the OG squad, and eventually, the empire:
Always have one ongoing class/club
It could be a coding class you hate, a foreign language class you’re failing, or even Improv — find one ongoing, 1x a week activity outside of work.
Roommates best be from different schools
Look, we all love our college friends, but they will always be there. When you room with 1–2 others from different schools, you instantly gain two entirely separate networks just within your apartment!
Throw a massive birthday party and invite everyone
This is a no-brainer. No event can bring in all of your “we’re friends, but I never see them” friends like a rager of a birthday party. Make it happen.
Shoot the “yo, been awhile. what’s good?” text once a week
Look at your Facebook friends within your city and you’ll notice so many people you haven’t seen in “a minute.” Just shoot the text to catch up, and you won’t regret it.
Join the massive yuppie Facebook group in your city (like this one)
The forward-thinking of brunch-frequenting urban app-swiping (insert another buzzword) young professionals will start a Facebook group for like-minded people. Most of the posts will be about housing (still a pretty good use case), but it doesn’t have to stop there. Great way to meet peeps (or post your Mannequin Challenge to increase #reach).
Go to that family friend dinner you don’t really want to go to
Sometime, your parents may intervene in your social life despite being on a separate coast. It could even be forcing you a (Gasp) Shabbat dinner, an awkward coffee meetup, and you’ll be prodded to go see that family friend you never really loved in the first place. Only one answer here: go.
Find a group in your company far from your department at work
I joined a Toastmasters group at work, where we give fun speeches and spiels on practically anything. There is NO ONE on my team at these meetings (thank the lord). Big or small companies, find a group. No groups? Create one.
Plan weekend trips with 15–20 people
Our weekends are blitzes in the R-Dubbs, which is why the best time to get to know someone might be for an extended weekend trip. Instead of three pregames with that person over a one month span (roughly 8 cumulative hours), spend the weekend together (a whopping 48 hours)!
Whether you really have a crush on your Vinyasa teacher or you’re just trying to work on that Downward dog, Classpass affords us wonderful opportunities. Unless you really need the solo run to schmooze with the teacher, yoga is better with friends.
Alumni events actually don’t suck
When you instantly delete or deny the invite for the latest Alumni event, you are instantly becoming that guy too cool for school. I’ve been that guy, and it sucks. Seriously, it’s a no-brainer to try and hit up these alumni events (Did I mention most events have free booze?).
Say hello to the stranger at the bar
No lie, one of my closest friends is the result of one of my other friends simply saying “what’s good?” to him at the bar. Who would have thought you could pick up friends at a bar?
Follow those steps, and you are well on your way to the Marcus Aurelius reign in your city. Empires are not built in a day, but with the right amount of group threads, “bro calendars,” and wide variety of greetings (I recommend the bold “hey, what’s going on?” over the critically acclaimed “hey, how are you?”), you will be on your way.
Just going to close with typing the word “Empire” one more time…
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