New Year, New Goals — Basic, I Know

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

My other favorite goal.

I could not be more fired up about this year. The year I pass the midpoint year in my 20’s. The year I continue my endless search for true romance. The year I possibly gain five or six new followers. It’s going to be a year, a big one, and I’m ready.

Thought it only made sense to go over my strategy for making it a big year: goals. Wow, I hate writing the word “goals,” it’s ridiculously cliche, and even though I like most cliche’s, this one I could do without. With that said, goals still matter. Endless studies prove that folks who have goals do better than those without them, and even those who write down their goals do better than just thinking about them. They matter (ugh).

While everyone may have their own unique formula for goal-setting (by all means, if it works, stick to it), I thought I’d briefly go over mine. I try to categorize my different goals into buckets: Career, Side Hustle, Health & wellness, and Citizen. All of which promoting a different lenses of which to view my life and the things I want (by “Citizen,” I’m referring to organizing networking events, exploring new neighborhoods in San Francisco, subscribing to one new newsletter — miscellaneously helpful). Under each “category,” I’ll usually write a mission statement highlighting what I want to achieve, followed by a short sentence on why I want to achieve it (you’d be surprised at the importance of why), and then bullets on how to get there. For instance:

I want to develop better mindfulness and live in the moment more often.

  • When I live in the moment, I’m healthier, happier, and don’t stress myself out to oblivion.
  1. Write in my grateful diary and journal nightly
  2. Meditate every morning
  3. Proactively focus

etc, etc.

That’s the general framework. Like any young adult without a printer, I’ll swipe the codes at work and print it there to stick it on my wall at home. This year, I hope to at least take a glance at the holy grail once a day — otherwise, I’d probably forget.

Some of my goals are incredibly real and important (test new skills at work), while others complement the core nicely (i.e. watch a new documentary monthly, floss daily, etc). No matter what level of importance, I want to achieve them. All of them.

Now, to close, as I age (twenty-five, ya’ll), I am starting to realize by far the biggest barrier to success is yourself. It’s not having the conviction, the work ethic, or the drive to bring everything together. It’s a different kind of battle against yourself, but it is winnable. People have done it before. So will you?

Let’s get it.

(ugh, sorry for the motivational mumbo-jumbo at the end, I’m sure you’re sick of blog posts like that to start the new year — I just couldn’t help myself)


Season of Giving

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.


Tis the season. Growing up, we clearly knew what that meant. Join our parents at the church, synagogue, maybe our youth group for ye’ old charity work. Humbling, meaningful, impactful — it helped carve us into the well-rounded mannered young adults we are today. As these supposed “adults,” we’re left on our own for most of our daily lives. Book the dentist appointment, buy the new toothbrush, google proper ways to floss — all solo activities and those are just for our teeth. Bringing into the mix “giving back,” it’s easy to just let it sail away.

I recently went to a toy drive for comedy night and we had the option pay $10 at the door for cover or go to a toy shop and I buy a toy for the youngin’s. We chose the latter and I ended up buying this really cool steering wheel (I partly wanted it myself) for charity. Dropping into the bucket, I felt a helluva better about myself than the $10 cover to the coarse, overweight bouncer.

We don’t have to give back. We really don’t. Our day-to-day lives already have endless stresses. We’re trying to lose weight, desperately looking for a new job, a beau, etc, etc. Those are in of itself personal concerns, but once in awhile, at least during the holidays, it’s important to put all of that aside and give back. If there is anything my grateful diary has proven to me, it’s that I have a TON to be thankful for, and most of these “problems” I deal with are barely serious issues. Food, toys, a warm home, friends are by no means a given for many.

It’s my personal goal to become more selfless (not waiting until January 1st, might as well start now). Yes, I have my personal goals, but often I can lose sight of the bigger picture and the people I’m trying to help with these goals. By helping, giving, volunteering, advising, I’m doing for reasons bigger than myself. Folks out there need our help. Whether it’s love, a self-deprecating joke about dating, a toy, a rose, time, money, there are endless ways to help. Find yours and do it…


Random bits of inspiration

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Not me, but kind of looks like me, amiright?!

The past 24 hours have been gnarly. On the personal side, yoga, haircut, and I even flossed twice! On the professional side, wowza. Podcast episode, new work project, unbelievable dinner with a mentor, the list goes on and on. I feel so inspired right now, I’m ready to turn up pre-2017. Are you?

I’ve been hearing a lot of “I can’t wait for 2017 to start so I can do X.” This pisses me off. Why can’t it be tomorrow? Actually, not tomorrow, today, or better yet, right now.

I fall into this trap often myself. I start projects, but don’t finish. I get fired up, then down two hours later. I watch the Eagles start off 3–0, then lose nine straight. I tell myself wait two weeks for the email, then never do it. I want to send the 😍 emoji in the next text, but wait ten texts later.

When folks say “2016 was so bad, I just have to wait until 2017 to get things going,” I get somewhat annoyed. First of all, the “worst year ever” is a media myth used to drive ratings, and of course, ad revenue. Yes, there were more pronounced unfortunate world events this year, but for the most part, every year in history has had their fair share of them. Second, in terms of our personal lives, it’s important to stay cognizant of the news, but not to let it consume our lives and our personal goals. Control what you can control, my friends.

We can all take ownership starting now. Read that book you have been trying to for awhile, invite that friend you’ve always secretly had a crush on to #brunch (just you two), email that VP to get coffee. Just fucking do it.

I’ve realized that once I stopped talking, and started doing, not only could I go to sleep happier, healthier, calmer, I feel more confident in the long-term outcome of the labor. Let’s go, fam.


Poker with the squad

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Pokaire.

Saturday night, we organized ye old poker game (Texas Hold ‘Em). Despite losing (twice), it was dope to change up the typical bar-to-bar routine we became so accustomed to. The jokes on point, bro-bonding spot on, and the scotch, unreal.

Here are the ingredients for a poker night with friends:

  1. Poker Chips — Duh.
  2. Costco Pizza — Cheap, Delicious, Memorable.
  3. Costco Wings — Well seasoned, delicious, also memorable.
  4. Black Bean Chips and Organic Guacomole — let’s keep it healthy.
  5. Scotch or Whiskey — Recommend Glenlivet or Maker’s Mark.
  6. HBO’s Entourage — mute during the game, sound on during breaks.
  7. Late Night Poker” Spotify playlist — Sinatra stands out.
  8. Homies — good people, good people, good people.


Why Relationships Are So Different

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Stereotypes.

So, I’m in a relationship and it’s crazy. Okay, it’s not actually crazy, I’m just naturally overdramatic, but it certainly is different from the all familiar single life days I’ve become so accustomed to over the years. Instead of the nights dropping stacks at the bar to no avail, I’m now standing on tables singing any number of verses from Justin Bieber’s “Purpose.” Instead of waking up and grabbing a granola bar on weekend mornings, I’ve explored an entirely new sect of local “brunch” spots (meta, I know). The list goes on and on…

Relationships are just…different. I was searching for why when it hit me. First, different from friendships which gradually build over years and years of memories, fluctuating along the way, relationships ramp up fast. Friends of mine for over 10 years barely have access to the type of inside information that special one gains access to within a few months. You are literally sharing your life with someone and that’s perrrrrty cray.

With that said, while friendships are completely in the open, the crux of most relationships is behind closed doors, over the bridge, through the woods, to g…wait, wrong verse. The point is there is no formula for relationships: “okay, you need to get drinks 2x, dinner 4x, meet her friends 3x, and then take 2x weekly adventures before you’re ready.” That does not exist. Everyone has a different path both leading up to a relationship and whilst in the actual relationship. When I become friends with someone, we take a shot at the bar together, or I shoot him a funny “DaQuan” Instagram video. Boom. Over. Friendship. Relationships are much more complicated…


25 — Is it still cool?

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Birthday colors.

So I’m 25. I just left the age of 24, and now I’m 25. Wait, did I mention I’m 25? Well, I am and I’m not quite sure exactly what that’s supposed to mean.

My “defining decade,” according to Meg Jay, is 50% over. Ouch. Well, maybe not a full ouch because I’m certainly proud of everything I’ve done & learned in the first half. I graduated college, moved to California (hey SF), developed UNREAL friendships, embarked on (cough cough) four jobs, rage-quit one, re-engaged my passion for media, and joined soccer teams, alumni clubs, Improv communities. Oh yeah, I also dated, and dated some more culminating in an actual present-day Millennial relationship (more on this later)!

So yeah, a lot happened! I’m proud of the past, but I can’t get hung up on it. I’m staring at point blank range at the second half of my twenties. What does that mean?

Well, for one thing, I reckon I have about three ages left where it’s still super cool to be that age. 25, 26, 27 all have a special ring to it. 28 and 29 (I also reckon) are like waiting in the doctor’s office — you just want this appointment — age 30 — to get here already. Okay, a little overdramatic, but I’d be naive to say the twentysomething ticking clock is not ringing louder.

Now, I’ve always felt every part of my life will be the best for different reasons — high school, college, early post grad life. No era is better or worse than the other, they’re just different. With that said, there is something about being in your 20’s (boozy brunch is 20% of it) that matters…

Now, when 30 gets here, what will 25–30 look like in on paper? Well, I could get into specifics, but what would you do without all of my Millennial cliches if I went that way?! As my old JCC basketball coach (hey Dad) used to say, “leave it all out on the floor.” So that’s what I plan on doing over the next few years, both personally and professionally. I want to keep taking risks, keep pushing outside my comfort zones, and of course, use a wider variety of Emojis. Yes, I’ve already had my fair share of absurd moments (see live dating), but I honestly hope there are many more, equally absurd experiences to come…if anything, to make things interesting 🙂

Still, this leads to my ultimate challenge in the second half of this decade, balancing this risk-taking “classic Yuppie” idealism with the pragmatic attitude of a bill-paying, benefit-seeking young adult. Finding that critical halfway mark will be key, and it may take an even bigger risk to get there. Oh yeah, one other challenge, stop overthinking. Please, for the life of me, stop overthinking everything. We shall see how that works out..

Regardless, when those pressures fluctuate, the stresses emerge, and the gray hairs appear, I’ll always repeat to myself:

I have great people in my life, I have great people in my life, I have great people in my life.

…Because those great people, those special relationships, those cherished memories will always matter most in the end…


Cleaning My Apartment

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Extreme.

I drift. Well, my mind drifts often. I ain’t clean either, those close to me admit I’m neat, but clean? No chance.

So when my apartment is trashed post birthday, post impromptu pregame, and post screening of Project X (it’s still just as Lit), it throws everything out of whack. Now, in college, i would have let this build up for a week, thrown another pregame, then get cleaners…actually, we’d go out more time, then finally get cleaners. But now, in this crazy day and age, I decide to put on J. Cole’s new album (it’s fire, by the way) and go HAM cleaning my apartment the morning after said original pregame. Wow, instant therapy. Is this maturation? Is this a mindless activity for an overtly annoying mind? Am I overthinking the act of cleaning my apartment by writing about it? Probably.

It’s the little wins we value. Cleaning your apartment. Half-off mimosas. Class Pass trial period extension. The canceled meeting. All of which help just a little bit…


The Generation Gap Is In Our Backyard

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Truth.

It’s no secret, there are huge divides in our world today. Rural vs. Urban, Rich vs. Poor, Tinder vs. Bumble users, Uber vs. Uber pool, etc, etc.

One oft sighted example is the clear generational gap between Millennials and our predecessors who care SO much about our well-being & planet (too dramatic this early, I know). Don’t believe me? Recall the latest time your friend’s pregame ended early because of noise complaints. See what I mean…

Sure, our parents are slowly getting onto Social Media, and definitely, we are paying our bills like normal adults, we are still very far away.

In my humble abode in San Francisco, we have a neighbor for all neighbors. Pleasant woman, mother, consultant, all of which pale in comparison to her role as head of the Housing Authority. Seriously, it’s like Dolores Umbridge gaining a power trip as the Chef at Hogwarts, let alone Headmaster.

Now, we’ve battled throughout the 1.5 years in our lovely home of Yuppies coming in and out (so far, seven separate people have lived here, and at least 50 have crashed). Lights put up on our deck? A paragraph rebuttal. One box left next to the trash can for 15 minutes? An essay rebuttal. No carpet on our floor? A home visit. A RAGING pregame? A threat to call the landlord AKA the apocalypse.

Now, as renters, we’ve been relatively powerless the entire time. We opted not to fight back when the kids sprint up and down the hallway above us often mistaken for an actual earthquake. We opted not to fight back when our side alleyway (our property) was amok with their trash. We said NO, we won’t fight.

With only a few months left on the lease (Yes, we’re likely leaving our current imprisonment leaving a bag of tears in our stead…kidding?), what are a couple “work hard, play hard” Millennials to do? Do we passive aggressively reply to the texts? Do we go “stealth mode” and not respond?

OR

…and this is crazy, do we start tackling the discourse dividing our lifestyles, beliefs, and most importantly, our equally cherished city of San Francisco by getting involved, encouraging dialogue, and developing empathy? This option won’t have the short term benefits of a laughing GIF from friends. It will be hard, arduous, and MAY provide some benefit long-term.

I’ll be the first to admit I am not the type of person in a favor of this type of process. Where are the quick wins?! As the dire state of the world is signaling to us, we all need to DIG deep for the long-term changes we want in the world…and stop swiping right or left for instant solutions.


Vengeance against the app Tribe!

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Clearly a poorly researched image. Oops.

Oh. My. Lantern. I’m PISSED. Just when I thought the dawn of the startup revolution for every random feature idea in messaging was covered, here comes along another startup with a sexy intro video, an alarmingly familiar app name, and at least five texts from friends (or so I thought).

When I saw the invite to join Tribe, I first though this has to be a J-Swipe competitor. After realizing it wasn’t, I was led to the hype video of all hype videos. Down the path of ramping up, I decided to opt in to allow Tribe access to my contacts. I figured it would be cool to see which of my friends were also Members of the Tribe (no, Rabbi, a different one).

Sure enough, moments later, I received texts from three friends asking “Wtf is this new app you sent me.” Huh? I didn’t send anything! Turns out this pathetic excuse for an app automatically invited my entire contact list without my permission.

Seriously? To say I was let down by what seemed like a cool app would be a tremendous understatement.

This is like going to the hippest new brunch spot and seeing, unfortunately, they don’t even have bottomless.

Nothing annoys Millennials more than unnecessary texts…wait, actually one other thing does: lazy marketing. Actually, even worse than that, another unnecessary video startup.

Leave us alone, Tribe, we’ve dealt with you for over 2000 years….shoot, wrong Tribe again.


The Internal Debate: Am I organized?

The Morning Bun: Quick blurbs with a fresh take on our Yuppie lives that we would probably share over mimosas…if it were not a weekday.

Daily.

I can’t quite figure out if I’m organized. Those who knows me are rolling their eyes all the way back. Of course, stop being ridiculous; no chance.

Right, right, right.

Well, then. So how do you explain for every missed meeting, I still maintain my room’s neat status quo. What about for every hamper piling up, I find a way to write in my grateful diary EVERY NIGHT. Even though I missed signing up for the right yoga class, I somehow manage to clear my inbox once a week. For every Sunday dinner I scrape together nothing because I have no food, I’m still able to promptly put together a Sunday #brunch with less than 10 minutes notice. So HA!

To say we are 100% organized or to discount any of our organization skills is outdated. We’re all a mesh of a number of different talents, skills, texts, Snaps, DM successes, and the like.

I’m probably organized either three or four days a week, in the morning or evening, before brunch or after brunch. It fluctuates like just about everything else in my life.

Do I want to be more organized? Sure, it kind of sounds cool! Am I going to drop everything to become more organized five minutes ago? Absolutely not. In due time, in due time, we will all prevail.